When I was growing up we learned respect from an early age; respect for one's elders, respect for your teachers, respect for the police. This magical word 'respect' was used to show due deference to people with life experience, local standing or positions of authority. I was taught to give up my seat on a bus for an adult, not just an elderly or disabled passenger but any adult. All teachers at school were Sir or Miss, never John or Sarah. In many cases this tradition continued many years after leaving one's alma mater. We didn't question this life lesson given at the knee of our parents, it was just the way it was.
I have run a martial arts club since 1987 when I was a 1st Kyu. The reasoning behind this was that, as we had no black belt to take instruction from within the island, I would travel to the home of my English mentor on a regular basis and would be encouraged to begin teaching aikido classes to those that were happy to take instruction from a non-black belt. I didn't even think about whether the students who trained with me in the early days respected me. I suppose in some way they must have, given that they kept coming back for more classes, but the idea that they somehow respected me, didn't enter into my thoughts. I did however respect them greatly for giving me the chance to share my interpretation of aikido. Indeed I respect any person who walks through the dojo door to undertake instruction and the sharing of aikido practise with me. I am merely a student like them but one who is a little further along the path. After all, the word sensei means "one who is born before", which implies one who teaches based on wisdom gained from age and experience.
I have never asked for or expected any student in my dojo to call me 'sensei'. My name is Roisin or Rosh. However, many students do refer to me by that title although I have never insisted upon it. They may have been schooled by other senior students to refer to me in that manner but it has never been a dojo 'rule'. I leave it up to them.
When visiting instructors are on the tatame in my dojo I will personally always refer to them as 'sensei' whether they be senior or junior to me in grade as I think it is the right way to address them in front of my students. Respect is earned and should never be demanded.
There have been dojos that I have visited, not just aikido ones, where they appear to be trying to mimic the atmosphere of their interpretation of an austere style Japanese dojo in the way that everyone behaves and conducts their business. No talking, no explanations, often taking their interpretation of such a 'dojo' and ratcheting it up a notch or two. Some have even been known to change their names by deed poll to that of a Japanese family name just, in their eyes, to add to the authenticity. This is obviously in the minority but it does happen.
I have witnessed (from another art) a group of visiting teachers in the bar of a local hotel deep in conversation when a new and enthusiastic student inadvertently entered their clique and proceeded to join in the conversation. Presumptuous, possibly, rude, probably, but if my opinion maybe he should have been quietly taken to one side by a senior student and reminded of what social etiquette dictates. Instead, the senior guy at the bar shouted at this poor unfortunate newbie in front of dozens of other people and commanded him to drop to the floor and 'give me 20' (ie twenty press ups, in a licensed bar, while wearing his best suit). The new student visibly reddened and quickly dropped to the floor where his utter humiliation was complete. This is not showing respect to your student. This was bullying and has no place in a dojo or in any social situation.
As a 'sensei', a person with more life experience and wisdom that those that follow, you have a tremendous influence upon some peoples' lives so be sure that you never abuse that privilege.
And remember, Respect is a Two Way Street.
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